


Somethin' in the Look You Give

by joz_stankovich (joz_rose)



Category: Love/Hate (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Drug Use, Eventual Smut, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Love Triangles, Minor Character Death, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:53:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27189610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joz_rose/pseuds/joz_stankovich
Summary: With Darren Treacy suddenly thrown back into your life after a year in hiding, you worried about your childhood friend falling right back into the gang life that drove him from Ireland in the first place.  On a quest for vengeance for the death of his younger brother Darren finds getting out again will be much harder this time than he anticipated.  Caught between his old flame and his budding feelings for you and a gangland schism bordering on war Darren swiftly finds he’s in over his head.  He’s lucky you’re not ready to give up on him.
Relationships: Darren Treacy/Reader, Darren Treacy/You
Comments: 13
Kudos: 13





	1. The Funeral

**Author's Note:**

> Welp, here goes, I'm starting a new series because I've fallen for another of Robert Sheehan's characters. Enjoy!

You hated funerals. There’d been far too many funerals in your life, and now add one more.

Standing next to your closest friend as she stood over her little brother’s coffin trying to hold it together, you took a steadying breath, wrapping your arm around her shoulder as a tear slipped down her cheek. 

None of this should’ve happened. Robbie was still so young. Fresh out of prison, with a clean slate, he’d had so much of his life before him and when Mary’d called you in tears, barely able to get the words out, you’d dropped everything to be there for her. After all, she’d done much the same for you.

Glancing up, a pair of mournful emerald eyes caught yours across the room and your stomach flipped. You hadn’t seen Darren Treacy for over a year. Not since he’d fled the country to dodge a weapons possession charge, hiding out in Spain. Mary’d been beside herself with worry since he’d returned to Dublin nearly a week ago, the same unfortunate day Robbie’d been gunned down, in fact. She’d just lost one brother, she didn’t want to lose another and you couldn’t blame her. Ever since you’d heard Darren had returned, you found the same worry gripping you as well. It hadn’t helped that he’d already been arrested once following Robbie’s murder, even if he had managed to dodge his sentence.

“You gunna be alright for a sec?” you asked, leaning in to murmur in her ear, rubbing her arm soothingly. “I’m just gunna go talk to Darren for a moment.”

Mary nodded with a sniffle, not taking her eyes off her brother’s body and you gave her one more reassuring pat before slipping away.

“Hey,” you murmured as you joined him, enveloping him in a hug, your heart giving a flutter as he embraced you back, his lips brushing your cheek in greeting. This wasn’t exactly how you’d pictured your reunion after so much time, in the midst of sorrow, but there was no lying that part of you was glad to see him again. 

“Hey,” he croaked, his voice a hoarse whisper, his eyes damp with tears as he pulled back to look at you for a long moment, as if taking you in, his hands lingering on your arms. “I’m glad you’re here. You’ve done so much for-for Mary… I-I really appreciate it,” he murmured, rubbing the back of his hand across his eyes.

“Of course,” you soothed, reaching up to caress his cheek before realizing what you’d done and quickly pulling your hand away. “I’d do anything for you guys,” you insisted. “Anything you need, you just let me know, Darren.”

A tiny smile pulled at his lips and he nodded. “You’re too good, [y/n], we don’t deserve you.”

“Nonsense,” you replied. 

Before you could say more, another group entered the room to pay their respects and Darren looked up, nodding at the men that entered. Stepping to the side you tried to blend into the background as they came to greet Darren and give him their condolences.

“John Boy,” he murmured, as the first gripped his hand, shaking it firmly before embracing him in a half hug.

“You got bail okay?” the man asked quietly and Darren nodded.

“Yeah, yeah, I appreciate it,” he assured him, clapping him on the arm and your mouth pressed into a thin line as you listened to the exchange. 

You’d wondered how Darren’d been able to afford the lawyer that’d got him off on a technicality, effectively rendering the warrant against him useless. Of course you were glad he’d not ended up in prison, for Mary’s sake, you told yourself, but you had a bad feeling about this, especially knowing it had come from John Boy Powers. 

Favours round here almost always came with strings attached. And it was only a matter of time before you’d find out what those strings were, by then often too late, the hook already set.

“I’m sorry about Robbie. It’s terrible,” John Boy muttered, shaking his head. “Look, I know this is no use to you, but I’m uhm, I’m gunna say it anyway. Whoever did this…” he paused meaningfully, his blue eyes holding Darren’s, “you know what I’m sayin’?” he asked and Darren nodded.

“We don’t forget,” John Boy continued, “we’ll sort this out.”

“I know, I’ll talk to you later,” Darren murmured firmly, his eyes flicking to you for the briefest moment and John Boy seemed to finally notice you.

“[y/n],” he greeted, stepping past Darren to take your hand and you smiled hollowly, not wanting to make a scene. “Why am I not surprised to see you here?” he asked, a predatory grin ghosting his features as he kept a hold on your hand.

“I’m close with the Treacy’s,” you reminded him and he nodded. 

“Of course, how could I forget. It’s such a shame,” he murmured, “but at least Darren’s back now.”

“Yeah...” you agreed hesitantly, watching him suspiciously as he finally walked away, his half brother, Hughie following him, followed by Stumpy, another of their _friends_. _Maybe lackey was a better word._

Suddenly Darren’s head snapped up, his eyes going wide and you followed his intent gaze across the room, a block of ice effectively dropping into your stomach as his ex, Rosemary stepped inside, looking as beautiful as ever. 

“Hey Rosie!” he exclaimed and she hurried over to embrace him, murmuring her condolences and suddenly you felt like an intruder, quickly averting your eyes, your chest constricting tightly. You wondered if Darren knew she’d moved on, if he knew any of the rest...

As she turned to leave, he went after her, asking her to hold back and she nodded, hesitating in the front entryway as they began to usher the rest of the visitors out of the house to close the coffin.

“Family only, miss,” one of the officiants murmured to you and you made to file out with the others when Darren caught your arm.

“Wait, [y/n] can stay,” he told the man, pulling you back into the room. “Please? You’ll stay?” he asked, his eyes finding yours and you nodded. 

“Of course,” you replied, stepping off to the side to stand next to Rosie.

There was a bit of a commotion at the door as Stumpy tried to reenter the house, no doubt to see what was keeping his girlfriend, while Nidge, another close family friend barred him entry, telling him to fuck off as he snickered and shut the door in his face.

For a moment your gaze met Rosie’s as she turned back from the door as well, twisting her fingers anxiously and you tried to smile, but you just felt kind of sick.

The way Darren’d looked at her, it was clear there were still some feelings there and you wondered if she felt anything for him as well, despite having moved on to a new relationship. You told yourself it was none of your business, it wasn’t like you had a chance anyway. _You’d always be nothing more than his childhood friend._

 _You could’ve made a move back then_ , a small voice whispered in your head. _You could’ve been his girl instead of chasing after a life you didn’t really want._ _But then what?_ you reminded yourself firmly, _be in Rosie’s shoes, heartbroken and left behind as he’d fled the country without so much as a word?_

You watched as Darren lifted one of his nieces to place a plush toy in the coffin before leaning down to kiss his brother’s cheek and you couldn’t help the tears that rolled down your face, forgetting Rosie for the moment as memories pressed in on you. 

True you’d always been closest with Mary, your best friend whilst growing up, and fond of Darren, in a way you’d never understood until too late, while Robbie’d always been the youngest, like an annoying kid brother that delighted in nothing more than giving you grief. But you could remember the fond moments and you let yourself cry as they said their final goodbyes, covering the casket and carrying it out.

——

At the burial Mary’d asked you to sing a hymn as the casket was lowered and you obliged, singing the one she’d picked out. As you sang, your voice filling the graveyard, lending a gravity to the occasion you hoped your voice wouldn’t tremble, not wanting to ruin the moment, but as the last note echoed lonesomely, Mary gave your hand a squeeze and you knew it had been what she needed.

Someone had told you once that funerals weren’t for the dead, but for the living and at the time you’d not understood what they’d meant, until now.

After the burial everyone met at the local pub for a drink, the small room filled near to bursting, the air thick with conversation. Nursing a beer you made small talk with the other visitors, staying nearby Mary in case she needed anything.

“[y/n],” she murmured, plucking at your sleeve when you were alone for the moment and you turned toward her.

“What is it?” you asked, noticing the way her eyes flicked past you to Darren, near the bar talking with John Boy and you frowned.

Mary wet her lips and shook her head, sniffling slightly as her voice dropped. “I told Darren why Tommy was late picking up Robbie.”

Sucking in a breath you glanced over at Darren again. “What did he say?” you asked, though you had a feeling he hadn’t taken it well. Tommy had been a friend of his for a long time, but finding out your friend had been screwing your sister wasn’t usually something overprotective brothers ever liked to hear, especially when you knew Darren already blamed Tommy for Robbie’s death, for not being there in time despite promising to pick him up from the prison.

Mary shook her head. “He wasn’t happy… [y/n], what am I s’posed t’do?” she asked. “I just feel guilty as hell.”

“D’you want me to talk to Darren?” you asked and for a moment you thought Mary might agree until she quickly shook her head.

“No, no, that’ll probably only upset him more.”

“Y’sure?” you asked, but she assured you she was. Sighing, you glanced once more at her brother. “Give him a bit, yeah? He’ll cool down. He probably just needs some time.”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re right,” Mary murmured, tipping back the drink in her hand. “I should probably go check on the girls. I’ll be right back.”

You watched her move away before turning back to Darren, making up your mind to speak to him. As you neared you couldn’t help but catch the tail end of his conversation with John Boy.

“I didn’t know you were coming back.”

“Yeah, well, no one really knew,” Darren murmured, leaning against the bar.

“I coulda set you up there, you know, over in Spain,” John Boy continued, shaking his head ruefully. “But you, uh, you really should’ve given me a call, you know, when you got back. You gunna stick around?” he asked pointedly and Darren nodded.

“Yeah, well, I have to, for the court case. Anyway thanks for the lawyer, I’ll sort you out--”

“For Pat’s fees? Oh no, I give him tons of business, it’s nothin’.”

“No, I wanna pay you back,” Darren insisted, but John Boy wasn’t hearing it. When he noticed you standing nearby, chewing your lip as you waited for him, Darren nodded your way. “Anyway, I need t’mingle,” he murmured and you felt John Boy’s calculating gaze slide to you before he raised his bottle, sending a cold chill through you. You hadn’t liked the sound of what you’d overheard.

“Course! You go _mingle_ ,” John Boy exclaimed before Darren leaned in. “Right, but I _will_ pay you back,” he insisted before peeling away and wrapping his arm around you loosely, leading you through the crowd, his hand on your lower back.

“What’s that all about?” you asked, nodding back toward John Boy and Darren gave you a sheepish look, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Ahh, it’s nothin’, just thanking John Boy, y’know. Apparently he paid the lawyer’s fees for me th’other day,” he said trailing off. “It’s nothin’. I’m gunna pay him back,” he exclaimed firmly at the disapproval in your eyes that met him. 

Shaking your head you decided not to set in on the lecture that was waiting on your tongue. _Now was not the time._ Instead you smoothed your features, offering him a long suffering smile. “I’m glad you’re back, Darren, I _really_ am,” you said instead, catching his gaze and his lips twitched slightly. “Though I probably shouldn't be,” you added under your breath.

“Why’s that?” he asked, having heard you, his grin widening a fraction with curiosity.

“Because you’re back in the hornet’s nest, aren’tcha?” you answered with a sigh.

“I’ll be careful, [y/n],” he replied, resting his hand lightly on your shoulder, “don’t you go worryin’ your pretty little head over me now.” His words were cut short as he glanced past you suddenly and you could guess what had captured his attention once more, catching sight of Rosie heading outside.

“Uhm, [y/n], will y’excuse me a moment,” he murmured and you sighed, your heart dropping as you nodded, watching Darren slip around you, following Rosie.

Unsure what to do now you turned back to the bar, finding Mary. “Brandan said he’d take the girls for a few days,” she said as you neared and you nodded halfheartedly, gesturing for the bartender to slide you another beer.

Noticing your sour expression, Mary frowned, glancing back where you’d been. “Where’s Darren?” she asked as you took several long drags from your bottle instead of answering. “Ah,” she exclaimed shortly. “He’s gone off t’talk to Rosie, hasn’t he?”

Clearing your throat, you shrugged, aiming at nonchalance, but you should have known even in the midst of her mourning your best friend would see right through you.

“He’s back for a while now, you know. You should do somethin’ about that,” Mary said meaningfully, a small smile pulling at her lips. “I’ve always wanted you for a sister, you know that right?”

Her words brought a laugh to your lips and you wrapped your arm around her shoulder. “I wouldn’t get your hopes up, Mare, he’s never noticed me before, he’s not about to now,” you argued.

“It’s different now,” she insisted, taking a sip from her own glass. “I think y’have a chance.”

Biting the inside of your cheek you hoped she was right. “Alright, alright, enough about me. How you holdin’ up?”

——

You told yourself you weren’t coming out for a smoke _just_ to look for Darren, but as you leaned back against the building, bringing the cigarette to your lips you couldn’t help but let your gaze wander, despite the chill.

 _Stop it, this is stupid_ , you told yourself, nearly dropping your barely smoked cigarette to the ground and heading back inside when you saw Stumpy leaning down to look into a car nearby, Rosemary in the driver’s seat and Darren next to her. Moments later, scowling, Stumpy made his way back to the pub, glancing at you as he passed. Not long after, however, Darren crossed the street as well, his brows furrowed.

“Oi, you alright?” you asked and he slowed, sighing. “Wanna smoke?” you offered and he nodded, rubbing at his eye before taking a fresh cigarette from your fingers and letting you light it for him.

“Did you know about Rosie?” he asked as he leaned against the building next to you, letting his shaggy head fall back.

“Yeah,” you answered softly, not able to bring yourself to look at him.

“I don’t think she was gunna tell me she was pregnant,” he admitted, bringing the cigarette to his lips and taking a long drag, blowing the smoke skyward into the chill overcast air.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t imagine she’d be exactly keen on lettin’ you know that,” you murmured, unsure what else to say and you could feel Darren’s eyes on you, calculating.

Swallowing the question you _wanted_ to ask you let silence envelope you, deciding you didn’t want to hear his answer after all, knowing it would probably hurt too much. 

“So, what’re you gunna do now?” you asked instead and Darren sighed, looking bone weary.

“I dunno. I need a job,” he muttered, “it’s startin’ t’look like I’ll be around longer than I was plannin’--”

“Hey, I need to talk to you.”

John Boy’s voice cut your conversation off short and you both looked over, finding him waiting expectantly and you closed your eyes, clenching your jaw. _Oh, right on time._ _Darren needs a job and boom, there’s Johnny there t’offer him one,_ you thought sourly. _Why is it every time I get a moment t’talk to him everyone’s keen on interrupting suddenly._

“Yeah, I’ll be right there,” Darren murmured, nodding to John Boy before turning back to you and crushing the half smoked cigarette under his heel. “I gotta go, I guess.”

“Darren…” you began, not even sure what else you were gunna say. “Alright,” you said instead and you watched him go back into the pub with a sigh, bringing your cigarette back to your lips with a huff.

Not but five minutes later the door opened again and Darren came back out, Nidge and Tommy in tow, his face set and brows furrowed, but when he saw you his expression softened.

“Hey, I gotta get outta here for a few hours. Can y’stay with Mary for me?” he asked.

“Yeah, course. Where you goin’?” you asked foolishly, knowing you weren’t going to get a truthful answer.

“Just t’drive around, let off some steam,” he murmured evasively.

“Alright, just… be careful Darren, okay?” you replied giving him a pointed look and he smiled hollowly.

“Course,” he assured you before turning away, Tommy looking incredibly nervous. Nigel however greeted you as he passed and you waved, finishing off your cigarette to rejoin Mary inside. 

The day had given you much to think about, and not much of it was good.


	2. Trouble Seems to Follow

“Rise an’ shine, sleepyhead,” you called in a sing-song voice as you pushed open Darren’s door, letting the sunlight in and ruffling his shaggy mop of hair as he blinked blearily up at you.

“[y/n]?” he asked, his voice still thick with grogginess as he stretched, rubbing at his eyes.

“That’s me,” you laughed.

“What’re yeh doin’ here?” Darren asked, pushing himself up slowly, still waking up.

“I made breakfast,” you announced and at your words he sniffed the air, perking up decidedly.

“Oh fuck, that smells good,” he murmured, making you grin, pride filling you.

“Well, hurry up and come eat before it gets cold,” you said, winking at him before pulling his door shut so he could get dressed and before long he’d joined you and Mary at the tiny table in her kitchen, Mary still in her robe.

“[y/n], y’didn’t have to do this you know,” she exclaimed, looking at the spread you’d made -- eggs, bacon, and hashbrowns, with jam and toast on the side, plus a pot of tea steeping.

“I know,” you replied, waving the thought away as you poured the tea. “I got the girls fed already while I was cooking. Hope it’s okay they just got cereal.”

Darren snorted. “They love that sugary stuff,” he exclaimed, tucking in and Mary nodded with a rueful grin. 

“This tastes even better than it smells,” Darren exclaimed, lifting his face to meet your eyes across the table and you flushed.

“It was nothin’, really,” you insisted, “just wanted t’take care of yous.”

As breakfast went on, their plates emptied in record time, Mary pulled out her pack of cigarettes and lit one up as she began to tell you and Darren about the psychic she’d visited the other day to get some answers about Robbie, worried for his soul and all that.

“He said Robbie’s spirit’s not at peace because of how he died,” she exclaimed, looking between you and Darren, gesturing with her cigarette as she frowned and you glanced over to Darren who seemed to have the same idea, his skeptical gaze catching yours.

“How does he _know_ he’s not at peace?” Darren asked slowly and Mary rolled her eyes.

“Because he’s psychic,” she countered, as if it were obvious.

Not sure how to respond Darren merely brought his mug of tea to his lips, his eyes once again seeking yours and you frowned.

Mary sighed, shaking her head as she flicked the line of ash from her cigarette. “You don’t think this guy can really contact th’dead?” It was less of a question and more a statement, and Darren looked down uncomfortably, choosing his next words carefully.

“No one’s ever come back, have they?” he asked with a sigh and it was Mary’s turn not to know how to answer.

“Are you plannin’ on goin’ t’meet with him again then?” you asked, worried that more of this sort of talk would only upset your friend more. You knew from experience that trying to hold on to the dead instead of moving on was never the answer.

“This afternoon,” she answered and you saw Darren frown, no doubt as worried as you.

“You workin’ today?” Mary asked instead, changing the subject as she eyed her brother sharply and you couldn’t help but chance a peek at him as well. You knew what type of work he’d probably be doin’ since getting back in with John Boy.

“Yeah,” he answered reluctantly, guilt in his eyes as his gaze flicked from Mary to you.

“With John Boy?” you pressed though you already knew the answer and he hesitated before he nodded slightly, his gaze dropping and Mary sighed, pressing her lips together as she shared a knowing look with you, tears welling in her eyes.

Clearing his throat awkwardly Darren looked down at his phone, effectively cutting that conversation off and Mary made to stand, directing a tremulous smile at you.

“Thanks again for makin’ breakfast [y/n], and for lookin’ after the girls for me today,” she said before turning her attention back to Darren. “You be careful today, okay? _Promise_ me.”

“Course I promise,” he answered, flashing her a reassuring smile and she shook her head ruefully before squeezing your arm and heading off to take a shower.

As soon as Mary was gone Darren leaned in, catching your attention though he pitched his voice low. “What d’you think about this whole psychic business, [y/n]?”

Shaking your head you lit one of Mary’s cigarettes from the pack she’d left at the table. “I think it’s a load of shite,” you answered, blowing a stream of smoke out slowly between your lips and Darren nodded in agreement.

“What’re you gunna do about it?” you asked, studying him for a moment and Darren’s brows rose innocently as he drew back.

“Who said I’m gunna do anything?” he countered with a soft chuckle, but he couldn’t trick you.

“Oh no, I know that look, Darren Treacy. I see th’wheels turnin’ in that head o’ yours.”

“Oh, y’know that do yeh?” he asked, his lips curling slightly, mischief replacing the serious light in his green eyes for a moment, making your stomach flip, glad you could distract him from his pain if just for a bit.

“Yeah, I do,” you insisted, flashing him a cheeky grin and taking one last draw off the smoke before crushing it out. “I saw it plenty of times when we were kids. Y’may have grown a little since then,” you said pausing, your gaze taking him in, “but _that’s_ still th’same.”

He huffed a soft laugh as he looked down at his hands for a moment. “Ah, y’do know me don’tcha?” he murmured fondly, a warmth to his voice that did nothing to quell the flurry of wings buffeting your insides.

“So, what’re y’planning?” you repeated.

“I’m just gunna go talk t’the fella, see if I can’t change his mind a little,” he answered cryptically and you frowned in thought, hoping that didn’t mean what you _thought_ it meant. “Anyway,” he said, sighing heavily, placing his hands on his legs as if to push upright, “I better get a move on or I’ll be late.” 

As he straightened he smiled softly down at you for a moment. “Thank you for the breakfast, [y/n], it was nice t’wake up to, and it was nice t’see you again,” he murmured, reaching out to ruffle your hair in turn, like he used to when you were young. “I’ll talk t’you later, okay?”

“Hey Darren,” you exclaimed, twisting in your seat as he moved past you and he paused. “ _Please_ be careful.”

“I will,” he insisted and he gave you one last smile before heading toward the door, leaving you alone at the small kitchen table, worry prickling your gut.

——

The rest of the afternoon slipped by slowly as you looked after the house while Mary went out, playing with her kids, basically like nieces to you by now, and cleaning up the house, washing the dishes and starting a load of laundry, looking for anything to help her and keep yourself busy in the process. If you stopped to think for too long your thoughts would inevitably slip to Darren and the no doubt dangerous and illegal activities he was carrying out for John Boy today.

You didn’t even have his new phone number to check in on him and make sure he was alright, and no matter what you did there was always that worry, bubbling away in your gut, until Mary returned, joining you on the couch with a heavy sigh, her expression much lighter than when she’d left that morning.

“What’s gotten into you?” you asked as she collapsed back and rolled her face toward you against the back of the couch, grinning giddily at you

“It’s weird, when I went t’see that psychic again, y’know the one I was tellin’ you and Darren about this mornin’, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you breathed, waiting.

“It was the strangest thing,” she exclaimed, sitting up, “he told me he had this sudden strong sense that Robbie was at peace. Y’know?”

“No shit?” you asked, your brain already spinning, wondering what Darren had done to get the guy to change his tune so drastically.

“Yeah. And look, I know you and Darren don’t believe in all that stuff, but it makes _me_ feel better,” Mary continued.

“Well, I’m glad,” you exclaimed, reaching out to squeeze her hand and she grinned, slightly teary eyed. 

“I already talked to Darren and he’s gunna watch the girls tonight so I can go out an’ celebrate. Well, not celebrate exactly, have a few drinks. You wanna come with me?” Mary asked excitedly. “Trish’ll be there.”

“Aw, I wish I could Mare, but I gotta work tonight,” you lamented, something else occupying your attention. “You said you talked to Darren? He alright?” you asked, perhaps not so subtly because Mary’s brows raised.

“Yeah, he’s alright,” she answered, a knowing grin tugging at her lips. “Why, you been worryin’ over him?”

Rolling your shoulders you shrugged it off. “Well, y’know, just a bit,” you answered, not quite meeting her gaze and she only grinned wider. “You were worried bout him too,” you pointed out, feeling your face heat.

“How much you been thinkin’ bout my brother, hmm [y/n]?” she teased, nudging your shoulder with hers.

“Oh, lay off will yeh?” you exclaimed, fighting off a grin. “I know what kinda shit John Boy’s into, I was jus’ worried is all.”

“Uh huh, I’ve seen the way y’look at him since he’s come back,” Mary pointed out, “I remember how you used t’feel about him, and now Rosie’s --”

“Mary,” you groaned, not exactly wanting to be ribbed about this now, not wanting to think about Darren and Rosie.

“I was gunna say, out of th’picture,” she finished.

“Yeah, for _now_ ,” you scoffed cynically. “I’m sure he’s already tryin’ t’get back with her. I saw the way he looked at _her_ at th’funeral.”

“Yeah, that’s why you should go for it,” Mary insisted, throwing you a level look.

“I dunno Mare,” you murmured, shaking your head. Your phone ringing on the table luckily put the rest of your conversation on hold and Mary shook her head ruefully, patting your arm before getting up to go find the girls, leaving you to answer your phone in peace.

“Yeah, hello?” you answered; the number was unfamiliar and for a moment you foolishly hoped it might be Darren, but you couldn’t be more wrong.

“[y/n].” John Boy’s voice in your ear instantly turned your stomach, making your skin crawl, and your hand on your knee balled into a nervous fist, clutching at the denim of your jeans.

“Johnny,” you breathed, your voice barely a whisper and he chuckled.

“You seem surprised, love.”

“I am,” you admitted, your pulse pounding in your ears. “How’d you get my number?”

“It was good t’see you again the other day, you look good,” he continued, ignoring your question and you bit the inside of your cheek as you listened, unable to hang up though you desperately wanted to. “It’s just a shame that it had to be at a funeral.”

“What do you want, John?” you asked, trying to keep your voice from trembling noticeably.

“I’m havin’ a little… get together tonight and I was hopin’ you’d come by, for old time’s sake,” he said smoothly and you shivered, not exactly keen to remember all the shameful things you’d done at John Boy’s past parties, young and dumb and desperate for attention.

“Sorry, I’m afraid I can’t, I’ve got a shift tonight, but even if I didn’t, I wouldn't come anyway,” you spat, strengthening your voice.

John Boy merely huffed a humourless laugh. “Darren’ll be there,” he pointed out idly, clearly waiting to see how you’d react and you bit your lip. You’d hoped he hadn’t noticed how close you’d seemed at Robbie’s funeral, fearing his jealousy, but it was obvious he had, and now he was testing you. 

_Great_ , you thought frantically, _another reason to fear for Darren’s safety with John Boy suspecting your feelings for him, clearly not as over you as you thought he was._

“Oh, well, good for him,” you replied evenly, trying to sound uninterested. “Why should _I_ care if Darren’s there.”

“I dunno, just thought y’might,” he drawled. “Anyway, the invite still stands, I gotta get goin’.”

Before you could think of a comeback he’d already hung up and you took a shaky breath as you dropped your phone to the couch.

 _Shit_.

——

After the day he’d had already, it should have been a relief to see Rosie, to finally get to talk to her one on one, but seeing her face had only managed to twist Darren’s gut, conflicting his emotions further, and he couldn’t stop playing over their conversation again and again in his head as he reluctantly headed to John Boy’s party, needing to make an appearance, at least.

Stepping through the front door his senses were immediately assailed with the heavy bass blasting through the speakers and the overwhelming smell of sweat and alcohol. Looking around he slipped through the hall to the main room where most of the guys seemed to be assembled and Hughie greeted him enthusiastically as he saw him, slinging his arm over his shoulder with a delighted cry, high as a kite.

“There’s a free ‘un in that room back there with your name written on her, Darren,” he exclaimed, gesturing back over his shoulder to the prostitute he’d left in the bedroom and Darren grimaced.

“I only just got here, y’know,” he said, trying to stall, neither in the mood to mess around with any hookers, nor upset Hughie, who’s temper tended to run hot and quick.

“Ah, man, it’s good t’have yeh back,” the other man exclaimed, already forgetting all about it. “It’s good for John Boy as well, y’know? Have y’back, I mean,” Hughie rambled as they walked, Darren only half paying attention.

“We’re brothers, y’know, well, half-brothers, but he thinks you’re, y’know, you’ve got th’smarts, y’know,” Hughie continued, slurring and stumbling over his words as he hung off Darren’s shoulder, hugging him every so often and Darren would pat him on the back each time, grinning and bearing it.

“An’ now that you’re back you gotta lay down th’law, y’know what I mean?” Hughie asked, lowering his voice conspiratorially. “Y’need t’get that Jimmy Byrne and put a bullet in that prick’s head! No one fucks with you or yours, am I right, brother?” 

Ah yes, Jimmy Byrne, the one everyone kept telling him had been boasting of having done Robbie in, yet no one could say for sure. Darren had already been hanging around the man’s house, running surveillance, waiting for him to return from England. He had to admit, it looked rather suspicious, the timing of it all, Jimmy having skipped town right after it’d happened; it made him look down right guilty.

“Yeah, cheers mate,” Darren murmured distractedly, and Hughie seemed to see something that caught his attention, stumbling away from Darren without a second thought and as he glanced about the busy room Darren caught sight of Nidge and Stumpy on the couch with a couple of prostitutes, though Nigel kept protesting, reminding everyone that he’d just gotten engaged. He wondered if Stumpy was any the wiser that he’d met with Rosemary earlier behind his back.

His eyes swung around the room again, subconsciously searching for a certain face in the crowd until Tommy clapped a hand on his back, startling him slightly.

“Tommy, hey,” he exclaimed.

“Hey, y’won’t find her here,” Tommy replied cryptically, leaning in and pitching his voice low.

“Who?” Darren asked, realizing then who he’d been searching for.

“[y/n],” Tommy said, glancing around the room as well. “She don’t come round no more. Not for a while now.”

“Oh, yeah?” Darren asked, a strange sense of disappointment gripping him, though at the same time he found relief there as well. He didn’t really want to see her hanging off John Boy’s arm. 

Though come t’think of it he’d noticed [y/n] seemed to tense up every time John Boy’s name was mentioned, but he hadn’t really put two and two together til now. “D’you know where she is?” he asked, silently kicking himself. _Why would Tommy know?_ _Mary was more likely to be privy to that information._

“Dunno, if she’s not with your sister you should probably check the bar she works at,” Tommy suggested and Darren nodded.

“Right, thanks man,” he murmured, clapping Tommy on the back. “I better go talk to John Boy. Y’seen him around?”

“Yeah, I think he’s out by the pool.”

Stuffing his hands in his jacket pockets, Darren made his way outside, descending the stairs to the pool below, picking out John Boy among his guests easily.

“There he is!” John Boy cried, having noticed Darren as well as he approached and he jumped to his feet, throwing his arms wide to embrace him.

“Oh, everybody’s huggin’ me today,” Darren muttered, embracing John Boy back.

“Yeah? Well, you deserve it,” John Boy exclaimed, ushering him over to the table and pouring him a glass of champagne. “Go on, have a drink!”

Darren inclined his head as he took the glass. “This is some party,” he observed, biting back a grimace.

“Hey, you drinkin’ that? Don’t waste it,” John Boy chastised when Darren failed to tip back his drink back straight away.

“I’m drinkin’ it,” he exclaimed, exasperation tinging his words as he brought the glass to his lips, if only to make John Boy happy.

“Ireland is fucked for the next ten years, y’know that right? This is the only game where you can make any money. Make your money and then get th’fuck out,” John Boy exclaimed, no doubt ramping up to talk him into staying in the game, enticing him with the money and Darren nodded, only half paying attention as he rambled on about setting up his own bank, his thoughts a million miles away, strangely pulled in two separate directions.

He couldn’t help but remember the last of John Boy’s parties he’d been to. [y/n] perched on John Boy’s lap, laughing along with the others, a drink in her hand... and her expression just as far away as his was now.

“Listen, I gotta get goin’,” Darren said after a moment, awkwardly holding his half empty champagne flute and John Boy’s expression faltered, his grin slipping away.

“What? Where? Y’just got here.”

“I just have t’head…” Darren murmured vaguely with a shrug. There’d been a time in the past where he’d have been partying it up just as hard as the others, but now, none of it interested him. His brother was dead, he still had Rosie on the mind, and he felt the pull to go find [y/n], wanting to see her as well.

“Don’t be a prick, Darren, I’m talkin’ to you,” John Boy said, fixing him with a level glare, but when Darren merely shrugged, setting his glass aside John Boy scoffed, turning his back on him. “Alright, fuck off, then.”

Darren sighed, shaking his head as he turned away and made his way out of the party, finding himself heading toward the bar.

——

You happened to look up as Darren entered the pub and your heart gave a stutter as you caught his eye, raising your hand in greeting as he made his way to the bar.

“Hey,” you greeted, flashing him a small smile as he took the stool in front of you, his somber facade cracking for a moment as he grinned back softly.

“Hey,” he replied and you passed him a beer.

“What brings you here tonight?” you asked, leaning against the bar as he took a swig. “Thought you’d be at John Boy’s party,” you said, unable to quite keep the venom from your voice, but if Darren noticed he didn’t comment on it.

“I made an appearance,” he muttered, shrugging, “not for long though.”

“Oh, I’m sure he _loved_ that,” you scoffed, shaking your head, “you’d better be careful, Darren,” you warned.

“What d’you mean?” he asked, though you _knew_ he knew what you meant; he wasn’t that stupid.

“You know John Boy doesn’t like being defied. If he wants you at his party, you better be at his party or end up on his bad side,” you muttered bitterly and a wan grin tugged at Darren’s lips.

“Funny, cause I didn’t see _you_ there at all.”

“I don’t go round there anymore,” you muttered pointedly, your eyes flicking away and Darren snorted.

“Probably for the best,” he murmured, taking another drink, not needing to address your uncomfortable past and you were glad for that. 

“But you were right, he wasn’t exactly pleased I showed up late and cut out early, but can y’blame me?” he asked, searching your face for a long moment. “I mean, my brother just died, I’m not exactly in th’mood to get high and party it up. Besides, I’ve got more _important_ things on my mind,” he added, his eyes once more flicking up to yours.

“You’re not in the mood to party and yet you show up at the pub on the rowdiest night of the week?” you teased gently and Darren bowed his shaggy head, smiling slightly into his bottle.

“Who said I was here for the drinks?” he countered and you couldn’t help but perhaps foolishly wonder if you fell into the _more important things_ category.

“You still sing, right?” he asked, nodding over to the small empty stage nearby.

“Yeah, I go on in ten,” you answered, glancing up at the clock on the wall.

“Then it looks like I got here right on time,” he replied, raising his drink, a half grin curling his lips and you couldn’t help but grin back.

Soon the band began to set up and you passed Darren another beer with an “on th’house” and a wink before heading to the stage as well and stepping behind the microphone.

You’d started as nothing more than a bartender nearly a year ago, trying to escape from a life that had pulled you to a dark place you’d never wanted to go, leaving you embittered and empty, but after your boss had heard you singing to yourself after closing one night, he’d insisted you take the stage on live music night and since then he swore his pub had never been so popular.

Darren turned in his seat to watch, resting his chin in his hand as he nursed his second lager and lost himself in your voice. Each time your eyes met across the room, a strange thrill would grip you -- something you hadn’t felt since you’d been practically children, before Rosie, before John Boy, before everything changed, but he was back now, and that night despite the growing crowd, you sang only for him.

Once your set was over you motioned for Darren to join you on your break, leading him through the back door to the alley outside, and as you sat on the cracked concrete steps you scooted over so he could join you, reaching for your pack of smokes and offering him one. As he lit his, he held the lighter out for you to light yours as well and you leaned back, blowing your stream of smoke skyward.

You sat in silence for a moment until Darren ran his hand through his hair, glancing over at you, a ghost of a smile on his lips as he nudged your shoulder with his. “I see why there were so many people in there,” he teased gently, “you’re somethin’ else, [y/n].”

His praise warmed you, but you snorted softly, flicking ash from your cigarette. “Nah, I’m nothin’ special,” you countered.

“Don’t sell yourself short,” Darren chastised lightly, and you couldn’t help but smile. “I’ve always been in awe of you, y’know?” he admitted, bringing his cigarette to his lips. “I didn’t get a chance to say it the other day, but I wanted t’thank you, for singin’ at Robbie’s funeral. It was beautiful. And for just always bein’ there for Mary… and for me,” he added, “it means a lot.”

“Course,” you replied, as if it were the last thing he needed to thank you for. Biting your lip you decided to voice the question that you’d been pondering on earlier, ever since Mary had returned with such good news from the psychic.

“So, what _did_ y’say to Mary’s psychic?” you asked, watching Darren flinch slightly, his hand pausing as he brought his cigarette to his lips.

“Dunno what you’re talkin’ about,” he murmured with a slight frown, not backing down from your skeptic look.

“Uh huh, because you mention goin’ t’talk to him and then th’next thing I know Mary’s tellin’ me he suddenly changed his tune, almost a complete one eighty.”

Darren shrugged. “We just had a little chat, is all. He musta got some new information from th’spirit world,” he mused and you snorted, bumping into his shoulder with yours.

“Alright, keep your secrets then. But I _know_ you had a hand in it.” You sighed, smiling softly, I’m just glad Mary’s feelin’ better.”

Darren’s lips twitched slightly, his eyes catching yours for the briefest moment and a comfortable silence lapsed again as you sat next to Darren, finishing your cigarette, feeling strangely at peace. Checking your watch eventually, you flicked your spent smoke away. “I gotta get back in, what’re you gunna do?” you asked.

“Oh, y’know, probably just head back t’Mary’s.”

Nodding, you stood and brushed your hands off. “Hey, you got my mobile number?” you asked as Darren followed suit, standing as well.

“Uhm, no, not any more. Hold on,” he murmured, pulling one of his phones from his pocket and adding your info. “There, just sent you a message, use that number t’get ahold of me,” he said and you grinned as you pulled your own phone out to save the number.

“Grand,” you exclaimed, pocketing your phone to hug Darren, his lips brushing your cheek. 

“It was good t’see you,” he murmured in your ear before pulling back.

“It was good to see you too,” you replied, not wanting to let go as you stepped back. “Please don’t be a stranger, okay? I’ve missed you,” you admitted.

“I’ve… missed you too, [y/n],” Darren confessed, an unreadable expression crossing his face.

“Text me when you make it home, yeah?” you asked as you turned toward the door.

“What, you worried about me? You’re startin’ t’sound like Mary,” he teased, his grin disappearing at the look on your face.

“Of course I worry,” you huffed and he snorted softly, shaking his shaggy head as he backed away, hands shoved in his jacket pockets.

“Okay, okay, I’ll text yeh when I get home, alright?”

“Good!” you called after him, hugging your arms around yourself against the cold.

Back inside however, you practically held your breath until your phone vibrated with his text that he’d got back safe, wishing you a good night.

You didn’t know what you’d do if he ended up like Robbie.


	3. Steady Hands

Lighting up your cigarette you took a deep drag as Mary joined you on the back patio, your eyes fluttering shut as you exhaled. When the back door opened once more you cracked an eye to see who’d come outside, coughing as Darren stepped through the door.

“Hey, mind if I join yeh?” he asked and you quickly sat up, waving your smoke away.

“Yeah, course,” you exclaimed, scooting over on the bench so he could sit next to you. Feeling Mary’s eyes on you, you purposefully avoided her gaze, offering Darren a cigarette from your pack.

“So, y’hear about Nidge and Trish?” he asked and you nodded as you brought your cigarette to your lips. 

“Yeah, Mary was just tellin’ me. That’s gand,” you murmured.

“You goin’ t’Nigel’s stag then?” Mary asked as she crossed her leg over her knee and leaned forward.

“Yeah, I’m expected to, aren’t I?” Darren answered, heaving a heavy sigh, “m’not all that keen t’go though, if I’m bein’ honest,” he admitted, scratching the back of his neck.

“Oh? Why’s that?” you prompted, tilting your head, taking another long draw, your eyes roaming Darren’s profile.

He shrugged as he frowned, “We’re goin’ to Prague, clubbin’ and shite, all th’lads,” he explained, rubbing at his eye, smoke drifting lazily from the cigarette between his fingers. “I’m just not exactly in the mood t’get high and party it up with prostitutes,” he muttered, his gaze flicking to you for a moment before he quickly looked away again.

“Yeah well, Nidge better stay away from any prossies,” Mary said, her voice hard as she pointed at Darren, gesturing with her own cigarette.

“When d’you leave?” you asked, resting your chin in your hand, bending to flick your ash into the ashtray at your feet.

“Tomorrow,” he answered, his emerald eyes watching you carefully. “What’re you two gunna be up to while I’m gone, huh? Better not be gettin’ into any trouble,” he teased, a grin tugging at his lips and you shared an amused look with Mary.

“I’ll probably tag along dress shoppin’ with Mary and Trish,” you answered with a shrug. “Y’know, _girl stuff_.”

“Sounds riveting,” Darren replied, nudging you with his shoulder and you laughed, “Totally.”

“I think _you_ better be the one stayin’ outta trouble, Darren,” Mary mused, a lazy grin on her face as she watched the pair of you on the bench.

Darren spread his hands, holding them up in surrender. “You’ve my word, dear sister,” he exclaimed, a fond grin spreading across his face. “Though I know th’two of you better than that,” he pointed out and you cocked an eyebrow at him.

“What’re you on about?”

“I remember all the mischief you two used t’get in when we were young,” Darren mused.

Mary gasped, sharing a scandalized glance with you. “Oh please—!”

“Yeah and most of those times _you_ were eggin’ us on, or had dared us t’do it in th’first place, Darren Treacy!” you exclaimed with a laugh.

“We’re talkin’ about you here, not me,” he replied laughing along, trying to dodge the jab you directed at his arm. “Truce! Truce!” he cried, holding his hands up and you relented, letting him flick the line of ash from his cigarette.

“But, alright, you’ve my word, I’ll be good,” he agreed, leaning back to stretch.

“Good,” you murmured, checking your watch. “Ah bollocks, I gotta head. I’ll see yous later,” you exclaimed, bending to crush out your smoke before standing, Darren echoing you to give you a hug.

“Have fun, okay?” you murmured, in his ear and he nodded.

“I’ll see yeh when I get back.”

“Sounds grand,” you breathed, smiling softly up at him, before reluctantly stepping out of his arms. “See ya, Mare.”

Mary lifted her hand to wave as you stepped back through the door.

——

“So, then what’s goin’ on _there_ then?” Mary mused, watching her brother as he turned back from watching [y/n] leave, blowing a stream of smoke skyward. 

“What’d you mean?” he countered carefully.

“Between you and [y/n],” she clarified.

Darren shrugged, leaning back nonchalantly. “Nothin’.”

“Doesn’t look like nothin’,” Mary pointed out. “I’ve seen the way you’ve been lookin’ at her since you got back.”

“And how’s that?” Darren asked.

Mary shrugged. “Like you’re seein’ her in a whole new light. I mean, you two were always close as kids, but not like _that_. It’s different now. D’you think I wouldn’t notice?”

Darren frowned. “It’s just good t’see her again, is all,” he murmured, looking down at his hands and the cigarette nearly burned down to the filter clutched between his fingers.

“Uh huh,” Mary scoffed skeptically. 

“I dunno…” Darren sighed finally, giving in, dropping the cigarette butt to the ashtray at his feet before running his hand through his hair. “I forgot how much I like bein’ round her, okay? And maybe you’re right… she does seem… _different_ now. I dunno why I didn’t see it before,” he muttered, avoiding his sister’s ‘ _I knew it_ ’ look.

“Maybe because you couldn’t see past Rosie,” she mused, watching him carefully. “That reminds me, what _is_ goin’ on with you and Rosie?”

Darren groaned, not really in the mood for _this_ conversation. “I dunno,” he answered shortly.

Mary watched him for a moment longer before putting her cigarette out as well. “Well, whatever you’re doin’, she’s havin’ a child. So y’need to think about that.”

“I _know_. I’ve just been talkin’ to her about stuff, is all.”

“Stumpy know you’re meetin’ up?” Mary interjected and Darren shrugged before she stood. “She should have more sense. It’s different when y’have kids, you know that? It’s not all about the romance anymore. It’s about the child.”

Darren nodded reluctantly. If anyone would know about that, it’d be his sister, a single mom of two.

“You know, it might be for the best if you leave it,” Mary sighed as she paused by the door, her eyes sharp on Darren. “Maybe… y’should focus on someone who’s not already taken _and_ expectin’.”

“Very subtle, Mare,” Darren snorted.

“I dunno what you’re talkin’ bout,” she exclaimed with a sniff, though the look she shot him was hard. “But whatever you do with [y/n], remember she’s my _best_ friend and you know what she’s been though. All that shite with John Boy. So don’t you go jerkin’ her around or leadin’ her on if you’ve no intention of gettin’ serious,” she snapped

“I _know_ , Mary,” Darren murmured quietly, looking at his hands. “I know.”

Mary nodded sharply before pushing the door open, but she hesitated, leaning back out to squeeze Darren’s shoulder. “I love yeh, y’know that right? Whatever you decide to do.”

“I know,” Darren answered, a soft smile spreading across his face as he looked up at her. “I love yeh, too.”

——

Darren had never really been one for the club scene, even before. It was too noisy, too busy, too _much_ , and with so much on his mind already — Jimmy Byrne, Rosie, and now [y/n], Darren just kinda checked out, watching the rest of the guys party as he nursed a beer.

They were on their second round of shots when Nidge clapped him on the shoulder telling him he should relax a bit, get a lap dance, but the thought merely turned his stomach. He didn’t even want to think about touching another girl, not when there were already _two_ on his mind, his heart being stretched in opposite directions.

“Nah man, I’m good,” Darren called over the pounding beat of the music, fixing a grin in place, but Nidge frowned.

“C’mon Darren, it’s my stag, live a little!”

“Really mate, I’m fine, I’ll leave the strippers to you’in,” he insisted.

“You heard the man, more for us!” Hughie exclaimed, throwing his arm around Nigel’s shoulder, already coked out of his mind and pausing to do another line off the back of his hand.

“Besides, I thought y’told Trish —“ Darren began.

“What Trish don’t know won’t hurt her,” John Boy interjected with a laugh, grabbing another shot and thrusting it into Darren’s hand, sloshing the alcohol over his wrist. “Drink up, Darren, don’t act like you’re above all this.”

John Boy watched him as he tipped back the shot, a calculating look in his eye before he joined Hughie and Nidge, grabbing a woman to pull into his lap.

Grimacing as the liquor burned his throat on the way down, Darren pulled his phone out of his pocket, first firing off a text to Rosie to check in on her before opening a new message and selecting [y/n]’s number.

[Hey how you doin? How’s the dress shoppin going?]

Several minutes went by without a reply and Darren nearly tucked his phone away again, until the screen suddenly lit up.

[y/n]: Oh, not bad, a bit awkward. It’s good to hear from you. How’s the stag goin?

[Pretty much the same, a bit awkward. Everyone’s ossified. Doin anything later tonight?]

[y/n]: Just workin. You??

[Probably goin back to my room a little early.]

[y/n]: Now you sound like an old man lol.

As he continued texting [y/n] a small grin tugged at his lips and he finally glanced up, feeling eyes on him, to find Stumpy glaring at him from the bar. As soon as Darren looked up Stumpy quickly looked away, but his mouth was turned down in a thoughtful frown.

It was strange, talking to [y/n] again after so long, it felt so… _natural_ , so easy. He’d been so preoccupied with thoughts of Rosie when he’d first stepped off the plane a couple weeks ago, but as soon as he’d seen [y/n] again it was like all these memories came flooding back. 

They’d grown up together, she’d practically lived with them during her childhood years, her family living next door with Darren’s mum babysitting, she and Mary inseparable. She’d been his first kiss and as far as he knew, not even Mary knew this-- knew how he’d felt about her. 

Then it’d all changed.

He’d started dating Rosie, fell for her, and [y/n]... [y/n] had turned to John Boy, looking for security, for someone to take care of her after her parents’ accident.

But _now_ … now they were both single again, and though his heart still yearned for Rosie, to make up for what he’d done, leaving her behind… those long buried feelings for [y/n], which at the time he’d thought were nothing more than a childhood crush were resurfacing and he didn’t know what to do.

Sighing, he buried his head in his hands for a moment before taking a deep breath and straightening, fixing his bemused grin back in place as he headed for the bar, telling himself to be a little more social, so his friends wouldn’t see how much he was falling apart.

——

You looked up from the rack of dresses you and Mary’d been idly pawing through as Trish stepped out of the changing room in a pair of lacy white knickers, stockings, and a corset.

“D’you think this is sexy enough?” she asked, a note of self consciousness in her voice and Mary quickly spoke up.

“Y’look stunnin’, Trish!”

“Yeah, it’s really lovely,” you exclaimed as well, though it wasn’t exactly _your_ taste, _but it wasn’t your weddin’ night either,_ you told yourself, trying to be supportive.

You’d always felt slightly awkward around Trish, Mary being much closer to her than you were and when the three of you hung out, you always felt a little like the third wheel.

“I’m worried it’s a bit too up market for Nigel,” Trish mused, turning to admire her reflection in the full length mirror across from you, planting her hands on her hips, Mary joining in on her laughter and you managed a grin.

If you knew Nidge, and you _did_ , you’d say it probably was. Tuning out the rest of their conversation you let your thoughts slip to the guys in Prague, wondering if Nigel really _was_ staying away from the hookers like Trish said he’d promised. If Darren’s earlier texts were any confirmation, you’d say the chances of that were low. 

“So who’re you bringin’?” Trish asked Mary, pulling you from your thoughts.

“Oh, I dunno, it’s too much hassle,” she replied evasively, clearly side stepping the question, but you knew who she _wanted_ to bring.

“I could always arrange a _mix up_ in the rooms so you’ll end up havin’ to bunk with Tommy,” Trish teased and Mary flushed, a giddy grin crossing her face.

“Stop it!” she cried halfheartedly, helping latch the string of pearls around Trish’s neck.

“What? That’s what weddin’s are for!” Trish replied with a wicked grin before turning her sights on you. “And what about you, [y/n]? Who you bringin’?”

“Who me?” you spluttered as both women looked to you expectantly, a knowing look on Mary’s face. “Oh, I dunno, I’ll probably go solo as well.”

“Oh, come off it, you can’t come alone!” Trish cried with a gasp, swatting at your arm.

“ _I_ know who you should ask,” Mary exclaimed and you gave her a warning look, but it was too late, Trish having already noticed. 

“Okay, spill!” she said excitedly, looking between you and Mary.

“You should ask Darren,” she insisted and Trish’s mouth fell open.

“Wait, you and Darren?” she asked.

“It's not like _that_ ,” you countered weakly, your phone choosing that moment to go off and Mary’s brows rose as she planted her hands jauntily on her hips.

“Now who would that be?” she asked with a cheeky grin and you glanced down at your phone, knowing _exactly_ who it was. Of course Darren would text you _right_ as they were talking about him, and you cleared your throat awkwardly, no matter that you’d been texting him for the better part of the afternoon -- not that _they_ needed to know that. 

“It’s uhm, it’s Darren,” you answered sheepishly and both women squealed.

“So he’s been textin’ you, then?” Mary asked excitedly and you didn’t have to reply for her to see the answer in your eyes. “Well, that’s a relief,” she muttered.

“What d’you mean by _that_?” you asked with a frown and Mary’s grin faltered for a moment.

“Oh uhm, I mean, well... he’s been talkin’ to Rosemary a bit too, but--”

“ _Oh_ ,” you murmured, your heart dropping and you stuffed your phone back in your pocket, leaving the text unread, suddenly wondering if the whole time he’d been texting you from Nigel’s stag if he’d been texting Rosie as well.

Noticing the sudden change in your demeanour Mary shared a worried glance with Trish who grimaced. “But hey! He’s been textin’ yeh, and I heard he’s been goin’ round t’the pub t’see you quite a bit, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you answered halfheartedly, forcing a grin, not wanting to take away from Trish’s big day or her excitement.

“So that’s somethin’,” Trish offered, reaching out to pat your arm reassuringly. “I think you should totally ask him. Besides, Rosie’s with Stumpy now, I can’t see her leavin’ him for Darren with a baby on th’way.”

“Exactly,” Mary agreed, though she didn’t sound quite as certain as Trish had. “I really hope you and Darren get together,” she exclaimed however, coming over to slip her arm around your shoulders in a half hug.

“Yeah, and why’s that?” you asked, huffing a laugh, cheered slightly by your best friend, resting your head against her shoulder. 

“Cause I’ve always wanted you for a sister, [y/n],” she answered with a grin and you found yourself grinning as well. The thought a nice one.

——

It was nearly 2am when you heard the tap on your door and you glanced out the window warily, reaching for the metal bat you kept near the front closet. However, when you saw it was only Darren through the window, a relieved sigh passed your lips, until you began to wonder what brought him to your front porch in the dead of night.

 _Whatever the reason for him to show up this late, it couldn’t be good._ He’d only returned from Prague earlier that morning, what trouble could he have gotten into already?

Opening the door you frowned, finding him leaning heavily against the door jamb and as soon as he saw you he quickly straightened, flashing you a shy half grin, but you hadn’t missed the way he’d winced, your worry only growing.

“Hey [y/n],” he greeted and you quickly stepped aside so he could enter, glancing both ways down the street before shutting the door behind you and bolting the lock.

“Darren, what--?” your question cut off with a gasp as he carefully shucked off his leather jacket, wincing afresh and your eyes went straight to the blood soaking through the side of his shirt. “ _Jesus_ , Darren,” you breathed, rushing to him, concern trumping every other thought. “What happened?” you asked, your hands hovering over the wound, your eyes catching his before he looked away.

“One of Jimmy Byrne’s men took a shot at me,” he answered, watching you askance as you frowned.

“Come on then, into th’bathroom, light’s better,” you huffed, brushing past him to gather supplies and wash your hands.

Darren followed, clenching his jaw against the pain as he pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it in the bathtub. For a moment you froze, towel in hand as your eyes roamed his bare chest and you shook yourself, hoping he hadn’t noticed you staring.

“What’re you doin’ sniffin’ round Jimmy Byrne for?” you demanded and Darren shrugged, thinking better of it as a hiss of pain left his lips. “You know that’s just beggin’ trouble.”

“There’s been talk round town Jimmy was mouthin’ off, bragging bout havin’ done Robbie,” he explained as you soaked a cotton ball in alcohol and Darren’s answer made you frown in thought.

“I ain’t heard none of that. Who told you that?” you murmured and Darren shook his head slightly. 

“At least that’s what Hughie’s been sayin’. Anyway, we picked him up tonight, threatened him,” he continued, flinching as you cleaned the wound, careful not to be too rough despite your frustration. “He said he didn’t do it… and I believe him,” Darren admitted.

“You think someone’s been spreadin’ rumors t’set your eyes on Jimmy?” you mused, picking up your suture kit and threading the needle.

“I dunno, but I don’t like it,” Darren murmured, hissing slightly as you began to stitch him up, his eyes finding yours and your hands froze as you pulled the thread taut.

“You’re lucky,” you pointed out, changing the subject and resuming your task, “the bullet only grazed you.”

Darren huffed a humourless laugh as you finished dressing his wound, his breath catching with each brief gentle touch of your hands.

“Does Mary know about this?” you asked, gesturing to his side and bringing a grimace to his face. 

“No, and she don’t need to,” he answered quickly, glancing at you meaningfully.

“ _Darren_ ,” you groaned, “Mary’s my best friend, I can’t just--”

“I just don’t want her to worry,” he said, cutting you off, his gorgeous eyes pleading with you and you nearly gave in without a fight.

“Oh, but it’s alright if _I_ worry?” you asked, a slight edge to your voice as you washed your hands again, scrubbing with more force than necessary.

“Course not!” Darren exclaimed with another grimace, realizing too late he’d stepped in it. Jumping up he grabbed your arms, freezing when he realized just how close you were in the cramped bathroom, your chests nearly touching.

“Why’d you show up on _my_ doorstep, Darren?” you asked, your voice barely a whisper.

“Cause I trust you,” he answered without hesitation. “And you have a steady hand,” he added with a ghost of a smile.

“Flatterer,” you huffed, fighting back a grin of your own, not wanting to let him know how much he affected you, his smile too precious for words.

“Besides,” he murmured reluctantly, brushing his thumbs over your skin where he still held you. “...I wanted t’see you,” he admitted.

_What about Rosie?_

The words were almost out your mouth before you could stop them, but stop them you did. Mary’d let it slip that he’d been talking t’Rosie again behind Stumpy’s back and while you desperately wanted to know if you even had a chance, you feared any mention of her name might break the spell and you wanted him so badly to keep looking at you like _that_.

“You know I’ll always be here for you, right? No matter what?” you murmured fiercely, hoping you hadn’t overstepped, but Darren merely smiled softly, his eyes roaming your face. 

“You want a cuppa?” you asked suddenly, quickly slipping past him to hide your reddening cheeks, butterflies swarming your stomach and Darren followed, leaning through the kitchen door after you.

“Yeah, alright,” he answered as you set the kettle on the stove. “You got a shirt I could borrow?” he asked and you snuck one last look at his bare chest before gesturing back toward your bedroom.

“Yeah, I think I have one of your old shirts in the closet somewhere yet.”

When Darren returned, you handed him his mug and he joined you on the sofa. You sat in silence for a long moment, your arm brushing Darren’s as you sipped your tea, until you finally broke the silence.

“So, if you don’t think it was Jimmy… who _do_ you think is responsible?” you asked quietly, your gaze flicking to Darren, who shook his head.

“I dunno,” he sighed, setting his empty cup aside as he turned to you. “Why does it seem like _you_ know somethin’, [y/n]?” 

Finishing off your own cup, you sighed as well, giving him your full attention. “Mind you, I have no proof whatsoever to back any of this up, it’s all speculation, and don’t y’dare breathe a word of this, but Darren, I wouldn’t be surprised if John Boy didn’t have a hand in this somehow…” you said seriously.

“But… _why_? Why would he do that?” he asked, confusion warping his features.

“T’keep you in Ireland,” you answered. “Think about it, you’re one of his best, and now you’re back, but how else would he keep you here? I told you you were back in th’hornets nest, Darren. _God_ , I’m so fuckin’ scared you’re gunna end up like Robbie,” you exclaimed, your voice trembling and Darren moved closer.

“Hey, hey,” he murmured soothingly, taking your face in his hands, his rough thumbs deftly catching the few tears that managed to escape, rolling slowly down your flushed cheeks. “I’ll be alright,” he insisted, caressing your cheek, and for a moment his eyes caught yours, drawing you closer til his face was mere inches from yours, his breath fanning over your skin, and you hesitated, wetting your lips moments before his mouth sought yours, kissing you slowly, thoroughly, and your breath hitched in your throat, your heart ready to beat out of your chest.

You couldn’t remember how long you’d wanted to kiss him like that. You’d practically been children messing around the last time. Before Rosie.

Giving in, you kissed him back, hesitantly, carefully, moving closer as your movements became more sure, your hands resting against his chest, balling in his shirt. Drawing a deep breath you finally pulled back, finding Darren watching you thoughtfully, his bottom lip drawn between his teeth and you cleared your throat.

“Here if I didn’t know any better, Darren Treacy, I’d say you were tryin’ to seduce me,” you murmured with an awkward chuckle, reluctantly moving away from him when all you wanted was to grab his face and kiss him again, to keep kissing him and never stop. 

“You stayin’ on my sofa tonight then?” you asked, instead of the question you _really_ wanted to ask and Darren grinned suddenly.

“If I really wanted t’seduce you, I’d ask t’stay in your bed,” he countered coyly.

“Oh, cheeky now aren’t we?” you laughed, at war with yourself as you reluctantly moved to stand, “keep your hands to yourself and I’m tempted to say yes.”

Darren grinned back at you and you itched to kiss him again, even if just a quick peck to the lips, but you refrained. “Good night, Darren,” you murmured, running your hand through his hair, unable to stop yourself. “If you need anything you know where t’find me.”

“Goodnight [y/n],” he called as you retreated to your bedroom, kicking yourself, turning once more to watch him before shutting the door, finding him already settling down on your couch, pulling the throw blanket up round his shoulders. 

——

You woke to the sound of your door creaking open and for a moment fear gripped you, nearly having forgotten that Darren had spent the night on your couch and you rolled over to his voice in the doorway.

“Good mornin’ sleepin’ beauty.”

Stretching under your covers, glad you’d decided not to sleep shirtless, you grinned up at him. “Mornin’. You sleep alright? I hope my sofa wasn’t too uncomfortable.”

“It was perfect, I slept fine,” he answered before flashing you a bright grin, making your stomach flip. “I made y’somethin’,” he said cryptically, disappearing into the hall.

Curious, you got up and shrugged into the cardigan slung over your headboard before following Darren out to your tiny kitchen, the smell of breakfast awaiting you.

“Oh my God, Darren, y’didn’t have t’make me anythin’,” you exclaimed, gaping at the table, but he waved the thought away, pulling out your chair for you with a cheeky grin.

“I know, but y’ _did_ patch me up last night and let me crash, plus _you_ made _me_ breakfast th’other day, so...” he pointed out, setting a plate in front of you before taking the seat across from you. “I wanted t’say thank you.”

“Still...” you murmured, your words dying on your tongue as you found yourself grinning at him like an idiot. Frowning, you shook yourself out of it and quickly picked up your fork.

Darren merely grinned at you before tucking in as well.

“How’s your side?” you asked as you ate, the events of the night before slowly resurfacing.

“It’s a little sore,” Darren admitted, a strange look coming over his features, and that’s when you remembered it. He’d _kissed_ you. You’d kissed _him_ back. _Oh my God, that hadn’t been a dream.  
_

As the memory hit you, you froze, nearly dropping your fork and Darren quieted across the table from you.

_What did it mean?_

You so desperately wanted to ask him, but you couldn’t make the words come, fear and uncertainty gripping you. He’d not mentioned it either, so maybe it had been a mistake, or a spur of the moment thing. Maybe it didn’t _mean anything_.

 _Fuck_ , you thought, trying to pull yourself together, quickly reaching for your cup of tea.

Darren watched you carefully, his gaze dropping, chewing his lip as if he wanted to say something himself, but then he shook his head and reached for his cup as well.

Maybe it was for the best if you didn’t talk about it. Maybe it was best if you just forgot about it.

But, _God_ , you didn’t _want_ to.


	4. A Family Day Out

“Ah, it’s uncle sleepyhead,” Mary announced, looking up from the magazine in her lap as Darren walked into the room, his two nieces engrossed in some sort of cartoon on the tellie.

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes Darren plopped down on the couch next to his sister with a groan, bringing the mug of coffee to his lips.

“You okay?” she asked, eyeing him curiously.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

“Well, y’didn’t come home th’other night,” Mary murmured, frowning slightly and Darren quickly took another sip, stalling.

He couldn’t exactly tell her he’d stayed over at [y/n]’s house, she’d ask far too many questions, or jump to conclusions, and nothing’d happened. _Well… not nothing_ , Darren thought, but he still wasn’t exactly sure what that kiss had meant, only that he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it.

“Oh, yeah, I stayed at Tommy’s. Didn’t mean t’worry you,” he fibbed, eyeing his sister askance and hoping she’d buy it.

Luckily Mary nodded, idly flipping the magazine page. “Well, we’re goin’ t’go to the swimming pool later. D’you wanna come?” she asked, flashing him a hopeful look, “be good for the head, y’know” she pressed, “Trish is bringin’ Warren.”

“Oh, well I’ll come then,” Darren exclaimed, sarcasm heavy in his voice, but Mary perked up.

“Will yeh?”

“ _No_ ,” he said quickly, incredulous that she’d fallen for that.

Not ready to give up however, Mary tried again. “It could be a family day, y’know. You could ask Nidge to come and... maybe Tommy,” she suggested, thinly veiled hope in her expression.

“Tommy’s not family,” Darren replied, a slight edge to his voice.

“Oh c’mon, Darren, _please_?” she murmured, chewing her lip, hesitating a moment, “Y’know [y/n]’ll be there.”

Darren froze, grimacing exaggeratedly at his sister’s words. _Of course [y/n] would be there._ Now [ _y/n_ ] was family, her and Mary practically joined at the hip. 

She had him, and she _knew_ it. 

“Y’know, on second thought… sure, why not? It could be fun,” he relented nonchalantly.

“Uh huh,” Mary exclaimed skeptically, leveling him a knowing look from across the couch.

“What?” he asked, adopting an innocent expression, though he knew she’d already seen right through him. _Damn sisters._

“Nothin’, you just changed your tune awful quick there as soon as I mentioned [y/n]’ll be there,” she pointed out smugly, but Darren shrugged, avoiding Mary’s amused gaze. 

“I’ll just call Tommy and Nidge up, then,” he said instead, hoping to steer the conversation away from [y/n].

“Just make sure to ask Nidge t’come, I don’t want it t’be like a setup,” Mary murmured, her lips twisting uncertainly and Darren sighed.

“I will, I’ll just tell him th’truth,” he said, smirking as he took another sip of coffee. When Mary looked confused he clarified. “It’s a family day out, after all.”

Rolling her eyes she stood, pressing a kiss to his temple as she passed. “Thank you,” she murmured, gesturing to the girls. “Come on, let’s get ready.”

——

Coming out of the changing room you found Mary and Trish already playing with the kids in the water and they waved to you as you joined them. “Hey, where’s the guys?” you asked, not seeing them anywhere nearby.

“Ah, they’re comin’,” Mary answered, glancing past you, “there’s Darren now,” she pointed out and you turned as he approached, his mop of hair already wet and plastered to his face. For a moment he seemed to only have eyes for you, shooting you a grin and you felt your face heat as his gaze quickly slipped downward.

“Is Nigel comin’?” Trish asked, pulling his attention and he turned to her with a nod. 

“Said he was, yeah.”

“Oh great, _I_ ask him t’come and he won’t, but _you_ ask him and he’s here in a shot,” Trish exclaimed with a twist of her lips, and you kinda felt sorry for her. You liked Nidge, always had, but you also knew Trish deserved better. 

As Trish turned away with a scowl Mary caught sight of the fresh ink on Darren’s chest, his brother’s name scrawled over his heart.

“Oh my God, Darren,” Mary gasped softly, reverently covering the tattoo with her palm, “When did yeh get that done?” she asked.

“Th’day after,” he answered, his eyes seeking yours past Mary’s shoulder and you couldn’t help but think of the other night when you’d seen it in your bathroom as you’d stitched him up, the memory causing your face to flare hotter.

“What d’you think?” he murmured, and Mary nodded, tears filling her eyes.

“I love it,” she gasped, a fond smile lighting up her face. 

Just then Nidge and Tommy arrived, coming to join the rest of the group and your brows raised as you took in Nigel’s choice of swimwear.

“A speedo, Nidge, _really_?” you snorted as Mary joined in laughing.

“What’s wrong with ‘em?” he exclaimed with a frown and you rolled your eyes.

“Nothin’, we like ‘em, don’t we [y/n]?” Mary teased, laughter still filling her voice.

“No, really, what’s wrong with ‘em?” Nigel demanded, glancing down and Trish and Darren joined in.

“There’s nothin’ wrong with ‘em, Nidge,” Darren exclaimed, though his lips twisted with amusement as his eyes caught yours and even Tommy broke into a smile.

“Ah fuck you’s,” Nigel cried, waving his arm as he stormed past to get in the water.

Hanging back as the others headed to the pool, the kids practically running in their excitement, you fell into step with Darren, your eyes seeking out the nearly healed wound at his side. It looked like it was healing nicely and he’d already taken the stitches out himself.

“How’s your side? D’you think you should be swimmin’ with it like that?” you asked softly, so Mary wouldn’t overhear, but Darren only shrugged.

“Eh, it’s fine,” he answered, running his hand over it, “it’s healed up enough. Besides, if it tears back open I’ll just have you sew me back up again,” he teased, grinning at your unamused look.

“Darren--”

“Y’gunna jump in with me or what?” he asked, nodding toward the pool, interrupting your protest and your mouth worked soundlessly for a moment, Darren not waiting for an answer, grabbing you by the waist and tossing you into the deep end before jumping in himself, splashing water everywhere. Your surprised shriek cut off as you hit the cold water, the sudden shock of it bracing and as soon as you resurfaced, you gasped a deep breath, directing a petulant splash at Darren’s face as he appeared next to you, turning his amused laughter to a splutter as he wiped water from his eyes.

“Oh, no y’don’t!” he exclaimed and you yelped playfully as you attempted to swim away, but he was faster, catching you and lifting you easily in his arms to toss you back into the water, and soon an all out water war had broken out, Mary’s girls and young Warren joining in til the air was filled with laughter and joyful screams.

It truly felt like a family day, everyone playing with the kids and having a good time, forgetting about everything bad that had happened lately, at least for a few hours. Noticing Tommy watching Mary, you joined him, leaning against the edge of the water slide next to him. 

“You better not hurt her,” you murmured pointedly and he stiffened slightly, his gaze darting toward you and back away quickly, “cause y’know Darren’s not the only one who’ll kick your ass in that case,” you mused, grinning at the discomfort that crossed his face at your words. 

“I won’t,” he protested weakly, turning to shoot you an uneasy grin, “besides, I’m almost more scared of you than of Darren,” he teased and you found yourself sharing his grin. 

“Yeah, y’should be,” you replied with a snort, “I’ll fuck you up.”

Eventually things calmed down and you returned to Mary and Trish and the kids while Darren swam over to join Nigel and Tommy floating off on their own, every so often catching Darren watching you, a pleased smile crossing your face.

“Y’know, he wasn’t even interested in comin’ til he heard you were gunna be here,” Mary murmured as she noticed you sneaking a glance over your shoulder.

“Nah, you’re just sayin’ that,” you muttered, feeling your cheeks heat again, hoping Mary wouldn’t notice.

“No, _really_ ,” she insisted, nudging you, “would I lie t’yeh?” she asked, grinning.

Glancing back once more, you couldn’t help but smile a little wider in the knowledge that maybe Darren was thinking about you as much as you thought of him.

——

“Great view,” Nidge mused as leaned back in the water next to Tommy, their gazes unabashedly taking in the ladies as they played with the kids across the pool.

“Yeah, can’t beat it,” Tommy agreed and Nigel realized where he was staring.

“Hey!” he yelped, sitting up straighter, “that’s Trish you’re lookin’ at!”

“Is it?” Tommy asked coyly.

“You _know_ it is,” Nidge growled and Tommy only laughed.

“Well, where am I s’posed t’look then?” he asked.

“Somewhere _else_ ,” Nigel stated pointedly. “How about over there,” he suggested, pointing to Mary.

“Hey now, that’s _my_ sister you’re ogglin’,” Darren exclaimed, sitting up to flash the guys a warning glance before turning his gaze back on [y/n], her eyes meeting his before quickly moving away, a teasing grin on her lips.

 _The lips that he’d kissed only a couple nights ago._ As soon as she’d pulled back, he’d wanted to chase her, to pull her into his arms and hold her. He’d nearly followed her to her room, wanting so badly to slip into bed with her, but like an idiot he’d let her go, and the next morning he’d been too much of a coward to ask her if it meant anything.

 _But what about Rosie?_ a tiny voice in the back of his head asked. She worked at the aquatic center; he knew how easy it would be to seek her out today. However, when he thought of her he found it wasn’t with yearning any longer, but guilt. He felt guilty for leaving her like he did and it hurt to see her with Stumpy, to know she was carrying his child… but, [y/n]... he couldn’t get her out of his mind, couldn’t wait to see her again.

Lost in thought he let out a heavy sigh, only half paying attention to the rest of Tommy and Nidge’s conversation.

“Yeah well, all I’m sayin’ is she looks good. It’s a shame she don’t come round no more--”

“You really expect her to, after how things ended with John Boy?”

“Wait, what’re y’talkin’ about?” Darren asked, their words finally pricking his attention.

“[y/n], _duh_ ,” Nigel replied, gesturing over toward the women before leaning back in the water. “Fuck me, but that swimsuit is really workin’ for her.”

“Hey, keep your eyes t’yourself, Nidge,” Darren snapped, reaching across Tommy to give the other man a shove.

“Oh please, as if you ain’t been over there gettin’ an eyeful yourself eh, Dazzler?” Nigel countered, giving Darren a knowing look, a shit eating grin on his face.

Scowling, Darren gestured toward Trish and the kids. “Yeah, but I’m not the one whose fiancé is right over there as I’m ogglin’ her friend, and you—“ he said, rounding on Tommy who held his hands up innocently, “don’t even get me started on you and my sister.”

“Hey, I didn’t say a damn thing,” Tommy muttered, eyeing Darren warily before glancing thoughtfully at Mary. “You’ve been awfully defensive bout [y/n] lately, though. Somethin’ goin’ on there?” he asked.

At his words Nigel’s brows rose and he turned to gape at Darren. “Wait, was _that_ who you were textin’ th’whole time at my stag? Stumpy was convinced you were chattin’ up Rosie.” He snorted a laugh. “And this whole time it was [y/n]? I shoulda known.”

“Yeah, yeah, will yeh lay off huh?” Darren grumbled, making to stand.

“Where you goin’?” Tommy asked.

“Bathroom. Nosy much?” Darren muttered, glancing around to make sure [y/n] wouldn’t notice him slipping out, finally making up his mind. The more he thought about it, the more conflicted he felt, and the more he needed to talk to Rosie, a sinking feeling washing over him as he had a feeling he knew how the conversation would go, but he _needed_ to have it -- that kiss only proved it. He couldn’t keep being pulled in two directions any longer.

——

“Darren, I can’t keep doin’ this, talkin’ t’yeh behind Steve’s back. It isn’t right,” Rosie murmured, glancing past him down the hall to make sure they were alone.

“I know. I’m sorry. Look, I just wanted t’be straight with yeh,” Darren said, looking down at his feet, “I _had_ t’leave, but I _could’ve_ asked yeh to come with me. I just... didn’t want you to come with me. And I know you think it’s because of the gun...”

“I don’t think that,” Rose interjected, taking Darren by surprise and he looked up, frowning. “I think it was because... that was th’first big love for the both of us and you thought that it was enough, until you thought maybe it wasn’t enough. And how did you know if I was the love of your life if y’didn’t try other loves? Was is somethin’ like that?” she asked, “Is that why you’ve been talkin’ to [y/n] so much?”

Unable to answer, Darren chewed his lip, but his silence was answer enough, guilt coursing through him.

“It’s a bit late now, Darren, y’know?” Rosie pressed with a sigh.

“So you and --”

“What d’you want me t’say? You think it’s easier for me?” she snapped, “To tell you the truth, it’s _not_ th’same, him and me. I _like_ him, that’s it. Does that make y’feel better? I mean, what’s goin’ on with you and [y/n], huh? Do y’love _her_?”

“That’s not…” Darren murmured weakly.

“Darren, _you_ left _me_. And I was on my own, and he was the next guy that came along that was nice to me and that’s it, but now I’m havin’ a baby with him and it’s too late for anyone else.”

“We could start over, it doesn’t _have_ t’be too late,” he argued, clutching at straws. 

“But it is.”

“I don’t care whose baby it is!” Darren insisted, his voice shaking.

“What does that even mean? She’s _my_ child,” Rosie exclaimed heatedly, “Are y’tellin’ me you’d be able to love her that way? The same big love as me, knowin’ that it’s his and not yours? Don’t lie to me Darren.”

Darren hesitated, the question stopping him in his place and he faltered, unable to answer. _The truth was… he_ didn’t _know._

“Look, I can’t do this, Darren. You come round here tellin’ me you wanna get back together, and yet you’re running around with [y/n], like-like y’can’t make up your mind. And I _know_ how she feels about you. God, she’s had a thing for you for _years_. Don’t tell me y’can’t see it.”

“So, you don’t feel that… big love for me any more?” he pressed, not sure what he was hoping to hear. Not sure if hearing that she didn’t love him any more would make any of it easier.

Rosie hesitated before shaking her head. “I don’t know,” she cried softly. “But it doesn’t really matter,” she insisted, “how can I expect you to commit to me and my child if y’can’t even make up your mind? And don’t deny it Darren. I don’t want yeh t’be with me out of some feelin’ of guilt or anythin’. You should be with _her_ , you _want_ t’be with her and you know it.”

Her words stopped him in his tracks and he hung his head. It was the confirmation he needed. Even Rosie could see it and he couldn’t deny it any longer. He _did_ have feelings for [y/n] and even if he wanted to make things work with Rosie, it wouldn’t be fair to her, he wouldn’t be able to love her like he once had.

“Just… just don’t stay with someone y’don’t love,” he pleaded, his stomach clenching at the thought of her merely settling. Even if they weren’t together he only wanted her to be happy.

She nodded, quickly wiping at her eyes. “I’ll think about it,” she murmured, turning away. “But Darren, please don’t contact me again, okay?” she asked, her voice wavering.

Taking a deep breath, Darren nodded before turning around, heading back to the main pool, and leaving Rosie behind.

——

“Hey, where’d you run off to?” you asked as Darren returned, having noticed he’d left.

“Just went for a walk,” he murmured evasively, his eyes not quite meeting yours and you frowned.

“You okay?” you asked, lowering your voice, attempting to catch his eye, your worry spiking.

 _Rosemary works here,_ a voice inside murmured, you’d seen her at the front desk upon arriving. _That’s where he’d gone._

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he insisted, raising his gaze to yours and you chewed your lip. It was clear he was only putting on a brave face for you; you knew him better than that. Something was _clearly_ bothering him.

Before you could press further however, Mary reappeared, standing by the edge of the pool, looking flustered. She’d mentioned going to the steam room with Tommy, but that was only a couple minutes ago and Tommy was nowhere to be found.

“Hey, the kids are getting hungry, we’re gunna go get some lunch, okay?” she said, not really waiting to hear your answer before turning and shooing the girls to the changing room.

“What’s wrong with her?” Darren asked as you watched her walk away.

Shrugging, though you had a pretty good idea, you let Darren help you out of the pool, following the others to go get changed.

As you entered the busy restaurant Mary scanned the room for an empty table big enough to accommodate the lot of you before spotting a large circular booth not far away and ushering the girls toward it. Following her over you took a seat between her and Darren, eyeing him warily. He seemed to have perked up a bit since leaving the pool and he caught your eye, flashing you a small grin before nonchalantly resting his arm across the bench behind you.

Looking up, you watched Nidge greet his niece, Siobhan, who was apparently there with some friends, while Tommy hung back to talk to her and you frowned, hoping Mary wouldn’t notice the way he looked at her as she clearly flirted with him.

Unfortunately she did.

Quickly looking away her expression tightened and you felt your stomach drop -- how had today started so well only to go downhill so quickly?

Darren on the other hand, seemed oblivious, perusing the menu as Tommy took his seat across from you, only to keep glancing across the room at Siobhan and then down at his phone.

You didn’t know Siobhan well, she was a bit young for the crowd you usually hung around with, but from what you _did_ know, you had a bad feeling if she wasn’t careful, she was headed down a similar path as the one you’d gone down at her age.

Looking back up Tommy flinched at the withering stare you had waiting for him, quickly averting his gaze and you scowled, half tempted to give his shin a good kick under the table, but you refrained.

Lunch was fairly subdued despite the bustle of the restaurant -- between Mare’s obvious disappointment, Trish snapping at Nigel for something or other, and Darren’s worrying silence, you focused on your food, just waiting for it to be over.

Several times however, you could’ve sworn Darren looked like he wanted to say something, his gaze hesitantly seeking you out before he frowned and shook his head slightly, as if deciding against it.

Finally, as everyone was finishing up, the bills getting collected, he turned to you. “You wanna get outta here? I’ll drive yeh home,” he offered.

“Yeah, alright,” you said, your pulse spiking. _Was he looking for an excuse to get you alone?_

“Where you two goin’?” Mary asked as soon as you stood.

“Darren’s gunna take me home,” you answered, leaning in to embrace her. “I’ll call yeh later, okay? Thanks for inviting me.”

Mary nodded, flashing you a grin before turning a suspicious, if pleased look at her brother, who waved at the others before you left.

Unfortunately, the drive back to your place was just as quiet as lunch had been, Darren chewing his lip as he drove, once again looking as though he had something on his mind, and though you were dying to break the silence and just _ask_ , you held your tongue, worried about what was eating him up.

The tension built til he pulled into your driveway, throwing the car into park, neither of you moving.

“So… that kiss th’other night,” Darren spoke up after a long moment, clearing his throat and you froze, wondering which way this conversation was about to go. 

Either you were about to find out if it meant something to him, or if it were nothing but a mistake and he was about t’let you down easy, deciding instead on pursuing Rosie. _That was where he’d gone off to earlier, after all, to talk to her — it_ had _to be._

“What about it?” you asked warily, glancing at him as you held your breath.

“Did it… did it _mean_ somethin’ t’you?” he asked quietly, not quite looking at you.

“Darren—“ you began, unsure how to finish, which was fine because he continued anyway.

“Because, it meant somethin’ t’ _me_ ; it felt… _right_ ,” he admitted, finally swinging his gaze to you, “and I haven’t been able t’get it outta my head since it happened.”

For a moment you couldn’t quite believe what you’d heard — it’d _meant_ something. Your heart leapt into your throat, but there were no words you could really find to express your joy, and before you knew what you were doing you were leaning across the car to kiss him, the eager moan that left his lips bolstering you as he kissed you back, his hand slipping behind your head.

“Do y’know how long I’ve wanted t’do that?” you asked breathlessly, a giddy smile splitting your face.

“Since th’other night?” he teased, chuckling as you smacked his chest playfully.

“No, y’dork.”

Darren merely grinned as he kissed you again, the soft caress of his lips enough to stop your heart.

“Y’probably don’t remember our _first_ kiss,” he murmured, searching your face, a small smirk playing at the corner of his lips.

“Course I do,” you replied with a soft laugh. “You dared me to kiss you while we were playin’ hide and seek.”

Darren’s grin grew at your words. “Pretty sure neither of us knew what we were doin’ back then,” he teased and you laughed harder, leaning in to kiss him again, your lips brushing his as you spoke.

“Yeah well, you’re much better at it now…”

Before you could get very far however, your phone went off, the alarm you’d set signalling it was time to get ready for work effectively ruining the moment.

Groaning, you reluctantly pulled back, silencing your ringer, finding the same disappointment on Darren’s face that you felt.

“I gotta get ready for work,” you explained with a sigh as Darren pouted slightly.

“Can’t y’play hooky?” he pleased halfheartedly, yelping softly as you poked him in the side, careful to avoid his mostly healed wound.

“I _can’t_ ,” you whined right back, though you couldn’t help but grin. “Text me?” you asked instead, hopefully.

“Course,” Darren replied, leaning in to give you one last lingering kiss before you reluctantly pulled away. 

As you unlocked your door however, you realized he’d not said anything about Rosie and you’d not asked. _Did this mean he was over her?_ Deflating, you groaned under your breath, knowing that question would haunt you the entire night if you let it, and it wasn’t like it was something you could just ask him over a text…

Though as your phone buzzed moments later, Darren already sending you a cheeky message, you couldn’t help but smile, telling yourself to take this win.

——

It was the middle of the busiest part of your shift when you felt your phone ring in your back pocket and you frowned. Darren had already bade you goodnight nearly an hour ago, so for someone to be calling you now was probably not a good sign. Pulling your phone out you saw Mary’s name on the screen and quickly gestured to your boss that you were taking a break. You could tell by the face he made that he wasn’t exactly pleased at the timing, but you pointed to your phone before quickly bringing it to your ear as you stepped out the back.

“Mare, what’s wrong?” you answered by way of greeting, your stomach clenching nervously.

“[y/n]? Oh, thank goodness,” Mary breathed on the other end, her voice harried as she spoke. “The cops just came and arrested Darren,” she explained shakily.

“ _What_? What for?” you asked, your heart leaping into your throat, your voice raising an octave.

“Apparently, Jimmy Byrne’s been murdered. I already talked to Trish, they came and took Nigel in too.”

At her words, you let out the breath you’d been holding, feeling the tension slowly leaving your body. “It’ll be alright,” you murmured, “Darren was with us all day, so was Nidge and Tommy, they’ll all have alibis. They’ll question ‘em and let ‘em loose, it shouldn’t be too long.”

You could hear Mary let out her own breath on the other end. “Right, of course,” she agreed, sounding like she was trying to convince herself. “Is there any way you could get him up from the Garda station after your shift?”

After assuring Mary that you’d pick Darren up you dialed another number, bracing yourself before holding the phone to your ear.

“[y/n]? To what do I owe this pleasure?” John Boy’s voice in your ear asked, sending a disgusted tremor through you. 

“Did you have Jimmy Byrne killed?” you asked without preamble.

John Boy’s sharp intake of breath was nearly confirmation enough. Even after all this time you still knew him better than that and you knew you’d just taken him off guard.

“How’d you hear about that?” he asked, the amusement in his voice now gone. “Besides, I had _nothin_ ’ t’do with that. I’m outta the country right now babe.”

“Did you send Hughie t’do it?” you pressed instead, the tension that had leached from you earlier, returning. “Darren said Jimmy didn’t kill Robbie--”

“Oh, _Darren_ said? So, Dazza’s tellin’ yeh things now? I thought you wanted outta this life.”

“Y’know, from what I gather, you and Hughie were the only ones to be spreadin’ around that Jimmy was the one to off Robbie. Awful suspicious that,” you pointed out, ignoring John Boy’s questions.

“What’re you sayin’, [y/n]?” John Boy demanded.

Biting your lip you cut the call. You could accuse him of killing Robbie, or of having it done, but that would be foolish of you and you _knew_ it. You had no proof and if you pushed him too hard he might come after you or Darren. 

Turning toward the dumpster you let out a frustrated cry as you kicked it several times before heading back inside, trying to pull yourself together for the rest of your shift.

——

The sun was barely peeking over the horizon as you blinked blearily, sitting in your car outside the Garda station, waiting for them to release Darren and the others. As soon as you saw him stride across the street toward you, you sat up in your seat, unlocking the door for him to climb in.

“Hey,” you said quickly, assessing him for any injuries and not finding any obvious ones.

“Hey,” he replied, his gaze just as tired as your’s. “Thanks for comin’ t’get me.”

“Of course. What’d they say?”

Darren shook his head, “They didn’t tell us much, other than Jimmy Byrne’s been executed, gangland style,” he muttered bitterly, rubbing at his eyes. “Luckily we had alibis for the time it’d happened.”

“Yeah, I heard,” you murmured.

Darren’s gaze raised to yours questioningly before he realized what you must have done and he opened his mouth angrily.

“You called John Boy?”

“I had to find out what was goin’ on, yeah?” you exclaimed defensively.

“[ _y/n_ ],” Darren interrupted firmly, his gaze turning hard, “you need t’stay away from him.”

“Yeah? So do you, Darren,” you replied meaningfully, not backing down.

He opened his mouth once more, clearly ready to argue when his phone rang sharply. Frowning, he answered, his eyes hardening. “Wait… _what_?” he demanded and worry filled you afresh at his tone. “Which hospital?”

_Hospital? Who--?_

Quickly hanging up he turned to you, disbelief on his face. “Rosie’s in the hospital, she might not make it. Stumpy... he...”

He couldn’t seem to get the words out, but you could guess only too well what had happened. Swallowing your resentment you started the car without another thought. “Which hospital?” you asked, your voice leaden. You might not have liked Rosie that much, you might’ve been jealous of her all those years, but that didn’t mean she deserved to be smacked around. 

“[y/n],” Darren murmured, fear and worry battling on his face, but his hand sought yours. “Thank you,” he managed to choke out before telling you which hospital they’d taken her to.

Hating yourself for it, as you drove, the only thing you could think of was the fear that Darren would choose Rosie after this. How could he not, after what Stumpy’d done?

 _You’re such an idiot, [y/n]_ , you thought, chewing the inside of your lip til it bled as you sped along. _You’re_ such _an idiot._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh, I struggled with this chapter a bit and I'm very unsure about how it turned out, so hopefully it was enjoyable. Comments are always appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> Gahh, I always get so nervous writing for a new fandom. Nice comments will make my day lol


End file.
